Platypused.

Back.

2011-08-20T21:38:00.002+08:00

See, I'm back again, for a moment of solitariness.

I need to write about this, or I think I might explode.

So.

I don't know whether he's avoiding me, or I'm reading too deep into the situation. I always have the notion that I'm quite unlovable. Seems that it's true, and at some point in life, everyone will start ignoring me or criticising me for who I am and what I did.

I'm so emotionally unstable now that I'm crying just because he ignored me and logged off when I started talking to him.

I never used to be like this.

I should sever all ties, before it's too late, but it's like another one of my addictions. I can't quit. I can't stop staring at him in class, fantasizing about situations that I'll never be in with him, can't stop thinking if he feels anything towards me at all.

I'm so self-absorbed that I start every sentence with "I". I'm trying to change this. My insensitivity towards other's feelings is notorious, but I myself can be hurt quite easily, as I just realised.

I feel better now. I hate it when I break down emotionally like this. It's not like me to do this.

At least my recovery time is fast.

We'll just continue to spin it out for as long as we can, until I lose interest.

Don't look over my shoulder while I'm blogging

2011-01-02T13:18:00.002+08:00

I want to get my ears pierced. Maybe it's like a "Buy 2 piercings, get one free" thing, then I can get 3 piercings. Hmm.

From now on, I shall blog random stuff. Serious stuff will be in my journal. So all those of you who follow my blog, i.e, 1 or 2 people, please consult me at school for further information on my wretched life. Thank you.

--Platypused.

Traces of oranges

2010-12-31T17:37:00.002+08:00

Today was tiring. I got soaking wet, then dried out again by riding a bicycle for 2.5 hours. Went all the way from East Coast Park to Changi Airport. Or rather their take-off fields. Now I think my butt is bruised by riding the bike for too long. Also, tried hands-free riding, but I couldn't balance it for very long. Debbie can't ride a bike. Amazing.

Fate: The strange

2010-12-23T16:22:00.002+08:00

Today I went to MacDonald's to eat lunch. There weren't any free tables left, so I randomly asked a guy if we could share the table, and he was okay with it. It was a bit awkward, because both of us were eating and reading a book at the same time. Then I happened to look down. HE HAD THE SAME SLIPPERS AS ME. Total OMGWTFBBQ moment. I bought my slippers in Malaysia. Really weird coincidence, huh.

Then I went on a book hunt. Visited the National Library and Bukit Merah Library to find the new Christopher Moore book. Found and borrowed it. I'm off to read now.

14.12.2010

2010-12-14T19:00:00.002+08:00

I'm 15. Which means even more responsibility, like, "You're fifteen! You should be able to blahblahblahyblah" etc. I don't really feel high now, because of work. Work is enough to depress anybody. But I can look forward to Friday fenzu... :/

Langkawi

2010-11-30T20:41:00.002+08:00

First, some information. Langkawi is an island that belongs to Malaysia. It is quite close to the Malaysia-Thailand border, is 90%Malaysian, 5% Chinese, and 5% other. It is exempt from tax, so people go there to buy cheap goods like alcoholic drinks, chocolate, alcoholic drinks, food, ceramics, alcoholic drinks, cookware, and did I mention alcoholic drinks? Yes, wine, whiskey, vodka, beer, whatever. I drank half a bottle of Semillion Chardonnay and half a bottle of Merlot. Yay. I got slightly drunk, but no hangover. Langkawi has two main built-up areas: Cenang beach and Kuah town. The Cenang beach was really nice, the sand was white and fine, and HERMIT CRABBBBSSS YAYAYAY. Yeah. I stayed in the water for a whole morning picking up hermit crabs. I'm sorry to say that I plucked the claws off two of them, because I wanted their shells. In the end I didn't get the shells cos they were stuck in too tightly. NOT ONE SHELL WAS FREE. SADDD. The food was average, kinda Thai influenced. Mmhmm. And that ends my dissertation on Langkawi.

New phone

2010-10-31T20:21:00.004+08:00

It's a Nokia 5800. Touchscreen and Xpressmusic.

I like the sound and the extremely clear video playback.

It came out a few years ago but it's still good, although I can't play the bread jumping thing... T_T

8GB for a phone is really good. I can download lots of random crap without worrying.

What I lack

2010-10-20T20:59:00.002+08:00

Human company.

Self-discipline.

Diligence.

Honesty.

Well, I just saw pictures of my classmates having fun at the class chalet.

While me, like the antisocial thing that I am, stayed at home and made life difficult for myself. Example: washing things. Wiping the furniture. Playing musical instruments. Watching cat videos on Youtube. Something only 40 year old spinsters do. It's the post exam doldrums syndrome that's pulling me down too, because I guess I'm just not cut out for whole days of staring at the computer.

Anyway, seeing the happy faces on my classmate's faces makes me feel envious of their care-freeness. But I must distance myself. I will not become shallow and emotional. What good does it do, to allow yourself to be exposed to things that will eventually shatter and scar your weak, twitching heart?

For some reason this reminds me of The Wizard's Hairy Heart.

New piano scores

2010-10-18T21:43:00.002+08:00

Linkin Park piano scores! Yay. Should be enough to occupy me for a few days at least, I guess. I think I'm becoming a musical freak, what with the 3 instruments I'm juggling now(metaphorically). And also I'm worrying about my marks. It's an automatic thing. I shouldn't be worried, since the marks are already predetermined. I can only hope. Wishing doesn't work. I'm not such a soppy person.

The long torture is over

2010-10-15T20:27:00.002+08:00

I'm usually not given to smiley faces, but today is special! Today marks the end of the long tyranny of the End Of Year Exams! :D :D :D :D No amount of smileys can represent the extent of my joy now. Let's start from the end of Math 2 paper.

Everyone was all gloom and doom, like"Nuuu I got this question that question wrong", etc, and I was also affected by the heavy mood. And then we all went to the PAC for the briefing. Great bear balls, it was boring. And they were confused. They kept apologising, but for the wrong thing. "We apologise for the great huge ginormous mistake that we make, but you get 0 marks BWAHHAAHA. And shush, don't tell anyone not from Dunman High that we made this cocked up mistake." AT LEAST YOU CAN PLEASE US BY GIVING US FULL MARKS INSTEAD OMGWTFBBQFCKBALLS.

And then me and Huiping went to the ICA because she needed to get her passport. I ran with joy on the way to the bus stop, and had to stop because I needed to recover from oxygen debt. And we nearly forgot to get down at the ICA stop hahaha stoners, us. Then we followed her mum into the ICA and I played with her Nintendo while waiting... It was about some crazed rabbids.

Then her mum brought us to Jack's Place to eat lunch; it was right beside the library. The food was nice, and WHEE SUGAR HIGH from putting too much sugar in the tea and it wouldn't all dissolve, so I ate it with a spoon.

Then library. Read Conan manga for 2 hours straight. Couldn't find any good books, and so didn't borrow any. Sad.

Then went to Iluma to GET HIGH AT OTAKU HOUSE. I bet if I wore the Lambo horns I'd look like Lambo, cos my hair is naturally curly. Stayed there for a long time, then went to Comics Connection, then to a record shop, then to Ameba, then to Macs. Yay. Nice day.

The dead ditty

2010-10-13T14:49:00.002+08:00

When I was young, I was full of hope

But when I grew up, all I did was mope

I had to be like the pope

Whether I liked it or not

And the existence of my life dwindled to a dot.

Take my advice, don't follow in my footsteps, don't listen to your parents, run far away when they utter the word "responsibility". It's fulla crap and I bet they listened to their parents when they were young, so they ended up like this.

Story of my life

2010-10-11T17:14:00.002+08:00

I was born. I grew up. I blogged. I became even more of a loser.

150 field of vision

2010-10-06T16:44:00.002+08:00

150 degrees is a very limited field of vision. I can't seem to pluck myself out of this self-abusing cycle of despair.

Life and death

2010-10-05T17:54:00.002+08:00

As a child you saw things only in black and white, good and bad, what gave you pleasure and what brought you pain. Now you see everything in shades of grey. Even the care of your kingdon is beyond you, so unwilling are you to decide what is right and wrong or even to admit that you can tell the difference. Regrets have clouded your memory and now you seek to blame me for your weaknesses.

- An extract from The Book of Lost Hopes

Why

2010-10-04T17:13:00.002+08:00

I am distanced. I guess only people with proximity are in your world, then. All my aspirations, are they for naught? Everything I do is to grab your attention. But I don't think you ever pay attention to me. I feel like a whiny bitch now. But no matter. I can give you up at any time. ANY TIME, you hear me? Hmph.

picking up the pieces

2010-10-01T20:54:00.002+08:00

My life is boring. But also very tense, in a way. It's too late to take back all the lies, and I live in fear of being found out. The lies keep piling up, one to cover another, and sooner or later, this web of deceit is gonna wear thin, and people will see through the deceit.

It's not a time for studying, so I convince myself. My parents only restrict me in my freedom of speech.

Into you

2010-09-29T17:19:00.001+08:00

Smoke another cigarette
It kills the pain
That's all that's left
Of me anymore

Choke on all of my regrets
Feeling the strain in every breath
Stumble as I crawl

Then I fall into you
And I fade away
I fall into you
And I fade

Like a crutch you carry me
Without restraint
Back to a place
Where I am not alone

I'm a man whose tragedies
Have been replaced
With memories
Tattooed upon my soul

Then I fall into you
And I fade away
I fall into you
And I fade

You said time to tear down the walls
You know not everything's your fault
But in a way
Our mistakes have brought us here today
You say just look how far you've come
Despite all those things you've done
You'll always be the one to catch me when I

Fall
Into you
And I fade away
I fall
Into you
And I fade

Say goodbye to yesterday (Say goodbye to yesterday)
I made it through
I made today
Despite what I was told
You were there to rescue me (You were there to rescue me)
You shine your light so I could see

Then I fall
Into you
And I fade away
I fall
Into you
And I fade

I fall
Into you
And I fade away
I fall
Into you
And I fade

(end)

My memories are tattooed upon my soul.

The difference

2010-09-28T18:02:00.000+08:00

Between sympathy and empathy.

Sometimes you feel as if you empathize, but actually it isn't real empathy. It's impossible to put yourself in other's shoes when you feel differently from that person at that point of time. So that's sympathy. Empathy, is really when you experience the same situation and you actually feel their pain. So there is a fine line between sympathy and empathy.

On a side note, EOYs are coming in 8 days. I feel less motivated to study already. I am such a slacker.

Yo

2010-09-24T17:07:00.002+08:00

I saw a Linkin Park video where a fan said: "Chester's the cutest nerd in the world", and I went "Awwwwwwwwwwww." Well, he is.

Anyway, Girl Guide cookies are nice, but you get tired of them after a few.

I think my parents are weird. My dad allows me to go learn guitar, but he doesn't allow me to learn E-guitar first. Excerpt: *glares at me* "Learn your acoustic guitar first!" But I wanna perform next year, ya know. Like, with a band. Although I don't think anyone'll accept me. Electric blue, blood red, and black are good colors for electric guitars, whoots. Although not all 3 at once -.-

Let go

2010-09-21T17:46:00.003+08:00

I've let go already. Strangely I don't feel anything. I am emotionless. I am a freak.

Ok. I feel like drinking..... Vine. Lol. Lame joke, I know.

Today was quite okay. I folded cranes for fun and wasted Kaining's pens' ink. I tore a gigantic square of paper out of a foolscap and made it into a crane, then Jingyu did something to it to make it have a weird head and a horizontal tail -_o then he called it a pterodactyl. -.- Lame. And I swear that that creepy guy is stalking me.

Given up

2010-09-20T18:03:00.002+08:00

I'm sick of feeling

Is there nothing you can say

Take this arm away

I'm suffocating

Tell me what the fuck is wrong with me

Yeah, that's how I feel like right now. But you know me, I'm not very emotional. Or rather I just don't break down that much. I suppose one day, all the hate I'm holding is going to rise up, like bitter bile, and engulf myself, and the people surrounding me. I need a dose of care and respect. Is that why I do things for attention?

Maybe.

I do not know when this will all end, and when I'm going to be free from all expectations and just live my life the way I want it, without anybody demanding things from me that I know are impossible for me to accomplish.

I hate responsibility.

Go away.

jealousy

2010-09-16T19:24:00.002+08:00

Notice, that the word "jealousy" contains the word "lousy". Which is what I'm feeling. This all-consuming jealousy is making me depressed. Of course, I was deluding myself that I actually had a chance, however tiny it was. But this was probably to be expected.

I have to talk to myself now.

Dear me:

You probably knew that this was coming. You saw it, just this week. You didn't think anything of it. Now you're wondering what he sees in her that you don't have, and the curiosity and envy is burning you alive.

The urge to know, also known as "curiosity", killed more than the cat. It killed a lot of things, with you. Killed your emotions, for one. Killed your sense of self-preservation. Killed your identity. You feel like a free-floating ghost, even though you are not dead. Yet. You feel like killing yourself.

You are self-centered, like 99% of the people in this world. You think people pay attention to you, but in reality you are but another idiot that deserves death. World's overpopulated, you wanna do your part.

So now you've calmed down. And debated the finer points of suicide. You feel better, and want a go again even if you know you'll just be hurt. So you know the best way to go is to get pissed and be violent, because you excel at that and it's the only way out that you know. Good luck.

Regards, yourself.

day 8

2010-09-15T20:17:00.002+08:00

Your favourite internet friends-

Dear whoever you are,

See you in real life.

Regards, Hanzhang.

Ok, now for stupid stuff.

Monday: Contemporary dance thing during assembly. At first I thought it looked quite fun. Until the "interactive session" that they always have for some reason. Richard Chow went up. And then he just had to call me. And I, like the idiot I am, just couldn't resist going up. And so now Zhang laoshi thinks I'm Richard's BFF. WTH. So, fine.

Today sucks so far. Why can't that idiot just lay off me for a day. God. I already told him that I don't like him. And Huiping thinks he is creepy and pale. I feel so unlucky.

Zzz

2010-09-09T14:13:00.002+08:00

I want to sleep. I'm supposed to be doing ACE project, but I'm just slacking/mapling here. I want foood. Argh. I'm not thinking clearly now. Lets request leave.

The catalyst!

2010-09-08T17:39:00.001+08:00

New blogskin. I like the fact that it doesn't openly proclaim to be a Linkin Park skin, cos I don't like to be seen as a delusional fangirl.

So now I shall do my homework, I guess...

Oh dear god not again.

2010-09-07T08:44:00.003+08:00

Raging hormones suck. Really. Pimples, hair sprouting, and other disgusting stuff like that. Oh, and starting to notice the opposite sex. My laptop is running out of battery. Sometimes I wish that I had mind reading powers. But I'd only find out stuff that I really wouldn't want to know about.

So it's best just to leave it this way.

Day 7

2010-09-06T17:30:00.002+08:00

Day 7- Your ex-crush

Dear ex-crush,

I don't even know why I used to like you. You're an immature freak who likes to act mature, and you disgust me with your childish acts. And you're older than me. Shouldn't you be growing up? Oh, I get it. Some people's brains don't grow when they're going through puberty.

Get a freaking life.

Sincerely,

Zhou Hanzhang.

I can't be bothered.

2010-09-04T12:11:00.002+08:00

Day 6: A stranger

Dear stranger(s),

I know you all have lives that I only come into for a fleeting moment. I don't want to make an impact on your lives anyway, so no hard feelings. However, if you were the one who stole my handphone and my book, and if I ever know, I will hunt you down and fucking kill you. God. You all suck balls.

Hate, Platypus.

What is wrong with me

2010-09-01T08:37:00.003+08:00

I don't seem to cry at emotional hurt anymore. Maybe too much time of being cooped up at home and a lack of social interaction makes you emotionless and unable to feel anything anymore.

On a side note, I hate the person who took my library book and didn't return it. What fucking use do you have for it anyway? You motherfucking asshole.

On another side note, Vampires Suck is hilarious.

CIP day

2010-08-29T17:56:00.002+08:00

Well, CIP at Raffles Institution was quite fun, I guess. Helping people indirectly through folding paper cranes is the best I can do for charity, I guess, even though my cranes had gigantic heads and really tiny wings. I agree with Huiping; those guys at Raffles are really pnerdly(pimply AND nerdly. They look as if they were the last in line to get chins and first in line for Adam's apples. The general effect is that of a tall stick insect. Bleh. I guess testosterone and testosterone just don't get along well.

Day5 - My dreams

Dear dreams:

Why can I not recall you at all? Sure, I remember the alien guerilla mercenaries and the cat on a piece of playground floor in the middle of the sea, but the rest of the time, all I get is feelings of deja vu, like I've dreamt this before, but I can only remember that I've actually dreamt about this before. So, dreams, next time I hope I could just remember you before the bad things happen.

Love, The Platypus

You reap what you grow

2010-08-27T21:40:00.002+08:00

Not again. I don't know why I keep coming back to this. People who know... Shhh. For the time being, I feel like being randomly violent. I don't even know why I'm like this. Not much, is he. So... Let's see for now. I shall carry on with my quest for guitar learning. I think electric guitars are like the coolest thing ever.

Day 4 Closest relative

Dear cousin （周佳玮）,

You're probably my closest relative, although not in distance. :/ I know you can't see this since Google's banned from China, but still. Thanks for sharing my toddler years with me, and being very excited whenever I come over. You're my only relative that is the same age as me (8 days younger!) and has a mindset similar to mine (although no, I DO NOT LIKE TWILIGHT. YOU SHOULDN'T EITHER.)

Day 3

2010-08-24T19:28:00.004+08:00

Day 3- Your parents

Oh. This is... :/

Dear parents,

I appreciate all the care that you've given me over the years. It isn't your fault that I'm like this failure now, but you two could do me a favour and not compare me with other people. I am myself. I am like this because of your genes combining. So I am like you two. So it is natural that I'll fare worse than other people.

I'm contradicting myself.

I hope that you won't care about me so much in the future, so I won't feel this nagging guilt all the time that I'm not living up to your expectations.

含章启

Day 2

2010-08-22T14:22:00.002+08:00

I love puggles! Puggles are baby platypuses. Awwww :3

Anyway.

Day 2: Your crush

Dear crush,

I don't know whether you exist yet. So, to the many candidates for my crush... Thanks for giving me something to distract me during boring maths lessons. Please don't disappoint me by doing stupid stuff.

Uhm. That's all I can say.

Yours truly,

Platypus.

Veery short letter. Again. ._.

Lol

2010-08-21T12:37:00.001+08:00

I think I have problems with expressing myself clearly enough.

AND THE BOOK. IF SOMEONE STEALS IT I WILL KILL MYSELF. GG.

At least I managed to download a lot of songs today. And my parents are at work. So, hah.

I still haven't figured out a way to control my emotions.

Let's be angry, and leave it at that, I guess.

Crappy luck

2010-08-20T20:23:00.002+08:00

I've had really crappy luck recently... Or rather, just today. I lost a library book IN THE TOILET OMGWTFBBQI'MDEAD, and got a REALLY F*CKING CRAPPY SCORE FOR PHYSICS. IT'S THE WEEKEND OMG HOW AM I GOING TO GET IT BACK. FCKFCKFCKFCK KFCKFC :/ Not to mention hormonal problems too. I hate today.

The 30 day letter challenge

2010-08-19T16:54:00.002+08:00

30 day letter challenge.

I shall do it as I want to practice writing and emotive skills, I guess. I can't keep it up for 30 days in a row, but I shall write every time I blog.

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush

Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

Here goes.

Day 1- My best friend

Who are my best friends? I don't really know, because I've never tried to define anyone as one. I guess Jing Yee and Siyao, because they are the people I've known for the longest time and go out frequently with, and Debbie, because she's the one I tell all my secrets to first and can empathize, I guess.

Dear best friends,

I've known you all for a relatively long time, and I should say thank you for all the times we've been through, whether they were happy, sad, or extremely embarrassing. Thanks for listening to all my moaning when I was emo, and giving me advice. I know I've done many stupid things in my life, and thanks for not running far, far away from me when you had a chance. But seriously. You should. Just kidding.

Good luck with your future endeavours, and remember to wish me good luck for my ridiculous escapades. See you in the future.

~~Love~~ *bleh*

Regards ,Hanzhang the Platypus

What a short letter. But you guys know me right. I'm not the kind who goes for long letters.

Crap

2010-08-19T16:24:00.002+08:00

Crap.

I don't know who I like now. There are many candidates, some less likely than the others. I don't know why I'm feeling like this. Maybe it's the backlash from that person. I know I don't have a chance, but something's holding me back from detaching myself from him completely.

I hate emotions. I'm tired of all the shallow crap that's happening around me every day. I'm tired of the voices, insinuating their way into my head, killing me from the inside. It feels as if I'm devoid of a soul. Maybe I am.

Tired

2010-08-17T17:58:00.002+08:00

Today's PE was quite fun. Although heading and chesting the football was too much for me. Obviously girls can't do chesting, duh, and heading the ball made me lose quite a lot of brain cells, I think. My head was ringing after it hit my forehead. But at least it went the right direction. I think I'm a bit too kanchiong when kicking the ball, cos it always flies quite far away, and Wangzhi has to run after it. She did the same to me also, so never mind.

I have no motivation to do homework. OH I REMEMBER WHAT I NEED TO DO NOW. SONGS SONGS SONGS YAY.

AWESOME BAND

2010-08-10T16:13:00.002+08:00

Mindless Self Indulgence is an awesome band.

Stupid MF is an awesome song. Although it is vulgar. Not for little children.

I shan't post the lyrics. ;)

I feel much better these days. Yay.

Even though that word is still there. Meh. Can't remove it now anyway.

I should be doing my homework.

Wait.

*Takes a deep breath*

Okay, I don't care anymore. :D

Lol.

Sunday was quite epic. Although I suck at goalkeeping. Maybe I should just sit in front of the goal post next time and block like 80% of the goals. =.=

Goddamit

2010-08-06T13:26:00.002+08:00

Goddamit. My life is so screwed up right now. I feel like killing somebody.

I mean, getting ignored is fine by me. But I think I've just made enemies of a lot of people who might chase me down and kill me. Do I avoid them, or do I hunt them down first? Although I can't defeat all of them by myself, I should probably amass an army of sympathizers now. Like, right now. So I don't get killed first.

So I'm now like, WTF did I get myself into this time? One bloody can of cat food and you want to become a homicidal freak. Goodness. Is it so horrible? Are you suffering from some kinda mental trauma? From what I know, guys don't harbor grudges so easily, but in your case? My god. What the hell is wrong with you.

Continuation

2010-08-05T17:52:00.002+08:00

Continued from last post. Don't read this if you haven't read the last post.

I feel wronged. I mean, the 本人probably doesn't even care(or might be seriously emo and pissed off, I don't care, you can go jump off 3.6M high walls.), why do y'all have to come and mob me... Which was why I left sch as fast as humanely possible today cos I was traumatised by the fanclub of screaming harpies. I know you're all righteously indignant, but... He's a guy. Guy's aren't that sensitive and won't go cry into their pillows when people say they're a cat. AND I WASN'T IMPLYING THAT HE WAS A CAT AND HAD TO GO EAT CAT FOOD OKAY. I fed the cat food to a stray cat. No rubbish left. So I'm not doing a crime or anything.

I think the people who came to apologise were quite brave... Thanks, but they're still pissed, I think. I shall get to 3K by the other staircase next time cos I don't wanna go past 3L already...

Weird day

2010-08-05T15:04:00.002+08:00

Weird day it has been. And I have realised.... A lot of stuff.

First I get stormed by 10+ 3L girls. Then I got all jittery during chinese test cos I realised I just made enemies of around half of 3L. And after that, 3 girls, also from 3L, including Wendy, came to apologise for the mob. Sorry if I sound biased against the mob, but seriously... Also, that's the 2nd SE person I've made an enemy of. And for the root person in this mess... Let's just forget it.

Cat food

2010-08-04T18:01:00.003+08:00

Cat food.

Yes. I actually bought a can.

They didn't have kitty treats though. Sad, ain't it. I love kitty treats. Fine. Kitties love kitty treats. :D

I love it when my parents aren't home. I can do things like... Um... Turn on the computer for 2 hours running... I have no life.

You know, I think I have a lot of mood swings. Hmm... I think I shall be a goth. Buy more black colored clothes, perhaps. I have a cross-shaped cut on my arm. Cool.

I think my brain is dysfunctional. I have instincts to write random stuff going through my mind.

Which is, I guess, what my journal is for, not my blog.

time

2010-08-03T19:01:00.002+08:00

Time.
What is my purpose?
The more I detach myself from this society, the more I realise that we're just machines of the state, studying, all the time, to work for the nation like the good little machines we are when we grow up.
Come to think of it, the whole world is pointless. Have you ever felt that no matter what you do, you'd still be trapped inside this never-ending web of lies and deceit? It's a world within a universe, within another universe, within a never-ending chain of universes. We'd never get to know about it all. I'd never get to know about it all.
Yes, I'm selfish. But isn't that what the creator of the universe intended? For selfish little humans to build walls around their minds and not to see the emptiness in their pointless lives. There is nowhere to get away from all of this. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING that ever existed, even insubstantial thoughts, ideas and emotions, will be stuck, in this terrible place. There's nowhere to run. No place to hide. Incarceron. Except that this time, it is the entire, infinite universe.

Stupid me

2010-07-31T13:36:00.001+08:00

Stupid me. I go on the computer with a purpose at first, but then I see Facebook, then I forget all about it. It's like some kinda memory-erasin' drug.

Now I don't feel like doing whatever it was that I wanted to do. Argh. I wish I could be more decisive.

Let go of the past

2010-07-29T16:14:00.002+08:00

It's time to let go. Probably. Depends on whether I have the willpower or not. Still. See first.
About the guy who likes me... Just stop harping on it. It's quite irritating.
It's time to change blogskin.
I have new glasses which go well with the middle finger. :P
Urgh. My life is quite screwed up right now.
Just listened to Linkin Park's "Given Up". Saw a comment that said "that long ass scream is fucking inhuman i swear". I agreed.
/|5|\ cats now. You catch planes, I count cats. €.€ cool emoticon, I know.
I've decided to be happier from now on.
A beautiful life.

Pupil dilation

2010-07-24T11:52:00.003+08:00

Well... The only thing I can say about my eye check-up yesterday is that it was ... Weird. And traumatizing.
1st traumatizing thing: My eye pressure needed to be measured. That machine blasted air into my eyes and shocked me.

2nd traumatizing thing: Got pupils dilated. It was really painful. And I can't look at the light any more. -.-

TRAUMA

2010-07-22T17:48:00.002+08:00

Oh the trauma. I found out yesterday that somebody likes me. But my heart belongs with another. *ahem* So... I'm traumatized because I think that person is a total retard. I only like guys who are smart and not socially retarded. For those people who follow my blog frequently, you'll probably know who I'm talking about. For both statements. You knokw, I should stop being nice to retards... Because I seem to attract crazy people and retards all the time...
Anyway. I should change blogskin... And tomorrow I'm missing half my lessons because I'll be seeing a optometrist or whatever you call eye doctors. Finally. Lets hope there is some salvation still for my left eye. I know you're traumatized too after reading the first part of my blog post, so I shall end here and leave you mulling over it.

I was slacking :O

2010-07-15T19:17:00.003+08:00

This afternoon I went with Rachel, Aiyi and Debbie to buy stuff for our seniors.
Here's what we bought(not including Xiaomin's tasks):
Dionne: Blue strappy dress and Super Junior stuff
Zhening: Cute white bag with black hearts :D
Melissa: Cool brown bag
Darryl TANG CHUN TAT.: Black with white stripes hoodie. M sized. I think he can wear because the shoulders can fit me. So should fit him. Unless I is smaller than him... o.o Mann I wants a hoodie too.
Hong Ling: Super Junior stuff.
Misc: Gift bags
For myself by myself: A cat soft toy and HAPPY BEER PHONE STRAP. NOW I MATCH WITH MY COUSIN! :D so happy.

Brief encounters of the 5th phone

2010-06-26T20:34:00.003+08:00

I lost my phone today. It cost $589. I only bought it last week.
I really hate myself. Because I didn't take my dad's advice and put it in a pouch. Because I didn't check my pocket when I was going out of the taxi.

Also, I hate the world. Why are there so many unkind people in the world? Why did they have to claim my phone for their own? They took out the SIM card and ran off. Because my phone was reachable until 3pm, then it couldn't. Is it so hard to keep your disgusting little hands off my phone? WOULD IT KILL YOU TO HAVE SOME MORALS?

I am never going to buy expensive things ever again. The more you have, the more chance there is that you'll lose something, and the more you'll regret it. This doesn't only apply to phones.
I guess I'm just unlucky and the world is a vortex of unhappiness. One day, all the frustrations we pour at the universe will make it explode. And we'll get what we want and deserve.

FML.

2010-06-20T13:51:00.002+08:00

I hate my life. Every time when something goes right in my life, and I feel great, life has to remind me that I have some important things undone. And I have to go do it and it makes me feel horrible. I hate my IDMI group members.
On to other stuff... I'm going to buy my new Nokia X6 phone later... Will cost me my dad $589. I feel kinda guilty, because it's father's day and my dad has to give me $589 to buy a phone D: But he says he'd promised it so he has to do it.
I'm going to work harder next term so I can repay my dad. Sighs.

china photo post

2010-06-13T15:56:00.007+08:00

Parts 1 of 2 of China pics.

表妹小文文

Not very nice looking graffiti.

flowers

Some herb farm near my grandma's house.

河

我的堂弟。

三叔。

HAPPY DAY OH HAPPIEST DAY.

2010-05-26T20:31:00.002+08:00

I will officially name this a happy day.
1. Wang Zhi kindly paced me during 2.4km run, and I ran 17 minutes+! YAY. HUGE IMPROVEMENT. AND I PASSED. AND I DON'T NEED TO RUN FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR. I am spamming caps. Heh. Thanks Wang Zhi!!!! :D Congrats, you got your gold for NAPFA and a 3.8 GPA!!! :D Man, I think 2.4 run is like walking to Wang Zhi. She was running BACKWARDS and JUMPING. To get me to run faster... =.= She also said during the run:"我们北方人是坚强的！快走！" Epic.
2. Got my 3.67 GPA!!!! Yay!!!! I hope my dad buys me a new phone because of this... But he says that he spent 3700 dollars on car insurance already and doesn't want to deplete his wallet.
But... He earns 8000+ every month...
3. Black nail polish. Thanks, Qijin! I'm going to wear it to China.
4. Seaweed chicken. And coffee. And Miranda orange, though I threw it away.
5. Open house deco. Guzheng outing. I vote for Zheng chalet+BBQ+KBOX!!!!!! YAY!!!! Especially Kbox. I suddenly want to sing.
6. Going to China tomorrow. I miss my cousins and my grandparents!!

Dumbasses.

2010-05-23T15:47:00.003+08:00

Well, the level experience was not much to talk about.
Day 3: Signature hunt was embarrassing, cos we had to sit on each other's laps and sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star."
We won the hankercheif game, cos the oppositon(3E) had a lot of blur people who targeted their out team.
The second game was charades. That guy from 3A was O.o, because when he was acting out a famous person, he pointed at me. I was like O.o, then someone shouted "MAO ZEDONG!". Okay. I didn't know I was such a famous chinese. -_-"
Third game was dodgeball. Some guy threw the ball really hard at my boobs. So I just went "Ow", and got off. Heh. I fail at dodgeball.
Stupid "Gala" dinner. We were the last to take our food. And the stupid Chinese opera antenna things were stupid. And Louis stripped in front of all the teachers. And Peter and Arthur.... What is this I don't even... Hi-fucking-larious.
So after we(Kaiyi, Meiyou, Yihfang and me) got to the chalet... I knocked on the door 3 times, cos that's what the others were superstitious about. No, ghosts didn't come. Nor zombies. Nor cockroaches. Then we found out that our room was connected to Cassandra+Yuxin+Chinhui+Looihan's room, so we made full use of it. After MOST OF US showered, they went out to buy snacks and I stayed. To shower. So I got a chicken pot noodle thing. So I ate it. We watched Where Got Ghost halfway, then, because of piracy, the movie died on us. So we went to sleep.
Day 4: Then we woke up. Brush teeth, wash face, stuff things in bag, etc. Went to beach. Had a not very satisfactory breakfast. Went to build the sandcastle. We didn't win. We didn't get any form of recognition at all. Even though every one of us were burnt and tired. So I only gained a really bad sunburn and a headache from the whole sandcastle thing. And Daryl kept annoying me. So I just kicked sand at him. Jing Yu was like: "Good one." Hah. Inurfayc, Daryl. Idiot. So after that we went to Parkway Parade Macdonalds to eat lunch. Met Valerie. Drama queen. And after that I went home.
So, my dad was back from Saudi Arabia, and HE BOUGHT ME A PAIR OF REEBOK SHOES OMG. First good thing he'd done in a lot of years. And then I told him I got quite good grades this term(3A+s, 2As, 1B) and he was like: 没白买。 And he gave me back my laptop. Yay.

2nd day of level exp.

2010-05-19T19:45:00.003+08:00

I gotta new blogskin! Okay, okay, I know it's small. But it's nice. especially 'cos the dragon has a scarf <3 yay.
Today was more fun than yesterday. I dunno why. I liked making the pineapple tarts... I made one like a cat's head. But it was without the filling. Kebayarobics was damned tiring, we danced for like 2 hours straight. The stretching exercises were fun because that's one of my specialties. Even thought I'm not into dancing or anything. Just naturally boneless.
Anyway, I bought an orange earpiece via Wang zi online just now. I hope it's nice :D It's only $7.50, and the shops nearby sell 'em for $9.90 cheapest. I'd guess that that's a good deal.

1st fay of level camp, wait no, experience.

2010-05-18T20:21:00.003+08:00

So... the first day of level camp... Oh wait, it's level EXPERIENCE. It sucketh. It sucketh to the verily depths of hell. My classmates mostly ignore me. Or maybe I ignore them. I don't know. But it still sucks. About the only thing i was happy about today was my henna tattoo, cos it has spikes. I think spikes are me. Our group was extremely fail, what with Liu Chao saying that he'd never lost before in Chinese chess, then losing three times in a row. And the spinning top thing... *facepalm* But the sausage bun was nice. Even though it was probably full of preservatives.

don't whine.

2010-05-12T22:22:00.002+08:00

What makes you have the right to criticize other people when you are the same? We're similar. Just because in your eyes I'm a total retard doesn't mean you have to use sarcasm at me all the time and insult me. I have feelings too, even if I'm just a... thing to you. A thing which you use as a punching bag, of sorts. What is the point? What did I ever do to you?

I dislike you!

2010-04-23T22:25:00.002+08:00

These days I am hated by my class. Okay, even though I was slightly despised in 2C last year, it's not to the extent with 3G, this year. I don't even have friends. No offence to people who consider me their friend, but I don't know you that well. I hate some people in this class with an intensity that I didn't know was capable of. But then, I guess it's my fault. I forgive you sinners.

Sorry for being a self centered bitch these days, to people whom I moaned to.

lol

2010-04-08T17:27:00.002+08:00

I win.

Living is a crime?

2010-03-28T13:31:00.002+08:00

You know, I can prove that living, in Singapore, is a crime. This is because they do not let bikers ride on the pavements, but ENCOURAGE them to ride on the roads instead. So in that case, it's okay to kill bikers but it's not okay to injure pedestrians slightly. What kind of convoluted logic IS this? Singapore non-biker logic, obviously. This is transportism! You cannot discriminate against people by their preferred choice of transport! All of us have rights to live, whatever transport we take!

ACE

2010-03-23T22:36:00.002+08:00

I hate the genocide people. One, because they have no pity on other people. Two, they're out to give us more homework so all us homework doing wussies can go and die. Okay, I'm off to die now.

100th post! And the debut of the Stickman comix

2010-03-22T17:35:00.001+08:00

100th post! And the debut of the Stickman comix!
=.=

1 more post to 100!

2010-03-19T12:10:00.001+08:00

One more post to 100 posts!
My encounter with the chinese test this time:

A wild CHINESE TEST appeared! HANZHANG used NO REVISION! Nothing happened! Wild CHINESE TEST used 公函题！It's super effective! HANZHANG fainted.

Pokemon FTW <3

FFFFUUUUU2

2010-03-18T21:29:00.005+08:00

2nd FFFFUUUUU comic!
Just a basic rending of my screwed life and my procrastination... -.-
Click the image to see it full size.
PLS TAG AND COMMENT?

FFFFFUUUUUU!

2010-03-17T21:45:00.001+08:00

I made my own FFFFFUUUUUU comic! On windows paint... =.= COMMENT PLZ! I know it's small, but whatever.

I lol-ed.

2010-03-17T15:54:00.002+08:00

If internet porn censorship actually worked, then 90% of the internet would be unviewable.
Rant on Tumblr: is anything actually original? 100% reblogged. This is why I use blogger.
Lol-ed at Yahoo Answer fails.
I noticed my blog posts are getting shorter and shorter. This is becuase NOTHING ever happens during the holidays and I have absolutely nothing worthy to blog about.
Cyanide and Happiness FTW.

Ssssssshhhhhhhhhhh.

2010-03-17T12:36:00.002+08:00

I keep hoping that my blog post titles actually show on my blog, but no.

I need to stop playing maple for like 3 hours straight every time... Because I haven't started doing any of my holiday homeworks. Okay, not much link.

The holidays are boring.

The horror of extension

2010-03-16T20:17:00.002+08:00

ARGH.
The Guzheng Year One orientation is extended to Thursday!!!! WHY?!?!?!?!?!?
I was planning to slack for the whole of tomorrow and suddenly I have one whole empty day ahead of me. And I'd have to fill up that emptiness with homework, obviously. I FRIGGIN' HATE HOMEWORK! Who doesn't? Oh well. I'd just have to put up with it until I'm 22 or until I get my Masters degree in whatever subject I feel like taking. Let's see, that's 8++ year away, especially because I'm born at the end of the year and younger than everyone else. *Headdesk*.
On to weirder grounds... I have a scaly patch on each of my arms. I'M TURNING INTO A DRAGON!!!

Nah. It's just because I lean my arm on tables too much. Like those calluses you develop when you play guzheng for quite a long time.
--
"Evolution, Me, And Other Freaks of Nature"

L O Led.

2010-03-12T20:54:00.002+08:00

My dad wants me to read more logical essays instead of my beloved fantasy novels. How am I supposed to do that? Teenagers are ruled by emotions, not logic. Which explains why we are attracted to lousy Singaporean dramas and extremely dumb movies like Avatar.
Digression: Avatar was a great movie, if you go in for great animation effects. In terms of plot and acting... Nah. It was cliche and cheesy. Oh, right, and blue skin? Please.
And all these are caused by glands in your body. As Terry Pratchett wrote in his books, once you die and become a ghost, you can't feel strong emotions anymore because the glands you need to feel them are decomposing in your recently evacuated body. Mmmm. I like this logic.
I liked Alice in Wonderland because it was crazy. Out of the world. Lewis Caroll was on drugs. So far that has been the only explanation for the total mindfuck that was Alice in Wonderland. But other than that, it was nice.
See, I have just proved that teenagers don't need to have reasons for their behaviour.

super LOL class outing

2010-03-11T20:14:00.005+08:00

Okay, so in the end we didn't go with 3F. So much for pointless speculation. 13 people went for the class outing. So we dawdled in class for quite a long time before going, because my history group had to stay and do the revolution comparison thing. Alice in Wonderland was a total mindfuck. But it was good. We ate lunch at Long John Silvers' and then wandered around in Plaza Singapura for a while. I bought a ezlink sticker cos I didn't want to see my ugly picture on the ezlink.
Anyway, my dad said I could get an iPhone after the June Holidays!!!! Is that Heaven I see over there? WHEEEEEEE.

double class outing?

2010-03-10T20:56:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow 3G's going to have a movie class outing, probably at Kallang Leisure Park. We're either watching Alice in Wonderland or Percy Jackson. If you asked me, I'd rather wait until 1 April, when Clash of the Titans comes out, but these two films are okay also. The funny thing is, 3F is also having a movie class outing at the same place, and they’re going to watch Alice in Wonderland. So I’m thinking that maybe our 2 classes could get together and watch the movie together? 72 people watching a movie together. That’s like… Wow. The cinema owners are probably going to be extremely happy and rolling in cash after we leave. But I think it wouldn’t affect anything even if we didn’t have a double class outing. So I’m just speculating here.

This has been an extremely weird and pointless blog post, and I wish you a good day.

emo? who, me?

2010-03-09T21:02:00.002+08:00

I noticed that my blog posts are getting more and more emo recently. Well, I have no idea why. Anyway, I'm happy now, but only because I got A+ for all my science tests. My dad is pwned. Hah. But I still have no idea what I got for chinese, history and LA. I'll just hope that I did okay, then..
Meh.
At least my blog posts aren't as emo as Jing Yee's. She's totally obsessed over the guy that dumped her in primary school... After 3 years, she still thinks of him. Now THAT'S obsessed, Jing Yee. Not me. =.=

I'm too nice to people.

2010-03-08T20:12:00.002+08:00

I'm too nice to people. I think I should just revert to my old ways and beat the bastards up.
That girl who did the middle fingering in 'The Autograph Book', I kinda feel the same way. Since you all don't like me, don't pretend to. All you fakers, hypocrites and the plain heartless. It's okay. You don't have to pretend. I'm used to it. All the teasing, pointing, and laughing behind my back. Especially all those bastard guys. As if I don't know your mindsets. Yeah, go on. Insult the fat girl.
This damn haze is making me sick.
You could at least say thank you if people give you presents. Rude boy.

As if.

2010-03-04T20:27:00.002+08:00

Today sucked. What with the scraped and swollen knee, the almost failed math test, and all that crap from my father again. Yes, I told my dad that I got a C for my math test, and he freaked out, and yelled at me for not doing any of my assessment books, and hit me on my head with my math textbooks, which combined are thicker than an encyclopaedia. After that he said that all my other tests were bound to fail too, so I got really pissed and said that if I got good marks then I'd beat him. He asked what rights did I have to beat him. I said that when I did wrong he beat me, so when he was wrong, why couldn't I do the same to him? I'm not as abuseable as I was in primary school. And now he's denying that he hit me.

hah.

2010-02-25T20:47:00.002+08:00

I've been thinking lately about why people have to hide things from each other and not just say them out so their lives could be slightly easier. But I reflected a bit more, and realised that guessing is actually fun, in a way. You get to exercise your brain and fantasize. Also if everyone told everyone else their secrets, then obviously it would be a disaster for them. Like me. I happen to keep secrets from my parents.
Also, I happen to be a almost total social outcast. Oh, but I'm totally used to it. this has been happening to me since primary school, so why shouldn't it be happening now? Oh sure, I just happen to have an antisocial force field that I can't switch off. Why blame me? Of course, I could just blame myself and say: "Why couldn't you make a little more effort to be outgoing and friendly? That way you could make friends." The problem is, I think I'm outgoing enough already. I'd rather be friends with a dog or a cat than a human. They have their *sarcasm* fun little cliques already. Why should I try to butt in at this point of time? I tried to do something similar in year 1. Didn't work, and I'm not going to try it again either. I shall just continue being antisocial. Don't try to make friends with me until I decide to stop wallowing in my self-pity, OK. It's my own decision.
P.S. I hate my dad. I wish I'd pressed charges against him for child abuse.

back again

2010-02-07T20:06:00.002+08:00

Finally after like a month, I'm back here typing.
Don't think that I'm back because I like typing. I don't. I'm only blogging because I have nothing to do while downloading songs. It is VERY slow. I hate this computer. And my dad doesn't allow me to use my new Sony Vaio laptop. For goodness sake, my laptop is a gazillion times faster than this, what, 8 year old computer. Ok, now I've finished bitching about the computer.
Anyway, yesterday I saw a Dragonica plush toy pack for sale at a CONVENIENCE STORE IN A PETROL STATION. What is this world coming to?? And it cost $59.90. Cheap, eh? And petrol station convenience stores sell beer and wine too. Do they encourage drink driving or something? All I can gather from this experience is that petrol station convenience are all weird in the extreme.
Hmmmm. I wonder what I shall random about next.
I wonder why everyone goes for the CO concert but don't come for the guzheng concert. Is it because we're not popular enough? Is it because we're just a rogue branch-off of the main CO? Am I being overly cynical here? I guess it's just because we don't have the famous conductor and everything. Hah.

stuff.

2010-01-01T16:02:00.002+08:00

Stuff.
I like reading anti-twilight websites because it's such a refreshing change from no-brained rabid fangirls who slobber over the Twilight series. Seriously, they're like:OMG EDWARD'S SO HOT AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Plus extra exclamation marks.
Eduh is ugly. He sucks.
Anyway, Stephenie Meyer can't write. Her characters have no depth and the conversations between Eduh and Belluh are totally puketastic. The anti twilighters write so much better. Also, they type properly, not like no-brained rabid fangirls.
Ok, I shall discontinue talking about Twilight because it's going to make me puke.

Penguins

2009-12-31T20:41:00.001+08:00

all the stuff that's happened while i wasn't posting for the last month and why won't the titles show grrrr.

2009-12-31T20:32:00.002+08:00

All the stuff that's happened while i wasn't posting for the last month and why won't the titles show grrrr.

Going to Malaysia:
Visited Port Dickson, Ipoh and Penang. Bought bubble gum. And chewing gum. Port Dickson's beach has changed from the last time I was there... No more sea cucumbers.......... T.T
Ipoh: Home to the best 豆芽鸡, ever. *Drools*
Penang: Visited the big temple over there. *Now 200% more commercialized.*

Class chalet: Watched lotsa movies. Played cards. Ate chips. Barbecue was ok. I liked the marshmallows. Chicken was rubbery. The Wall-e DVD i brought was scratched and couldn't be played... T.T 戒色 was boring except for the sex scenes, where Justin and Kaimin watched with huge eyes. You sickos.

Jixun: It was ok, unlike what Debbie says. But possibly it's because I actually like playing Guzheng. Thursday, I performed 丰收锣鼓 with Yanlei. Cui Laoshi said it was ok, not much mistakes, so... Ok. Friday, our group made sandwiches. That... Reminds... Me... WHY HAVEN'T THEY GIVEN ME MY MONEY BACK YET???? Well, the irresponsible people left me, Rachel, Rui Xian and Serene to carry all the stuff back by WALKING, while all the rest took a taxi. THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR HELP, GUYS, WE FELT SO GOOD WHEN YOU GAVE US A RIDE. IN SPIRIT, APPARENTLY. Hah, but I got my back on them later by going to the free access lab to play on the computer for like 2 hours. HA HAA. I ate too much tuna later during dinner and got a 39.4 degree Celsius fever the next morning.(But I was well enough in the afternoon to buy a laptop, because the doctor gave me 2 kinds of very strong fever medicine.) Ok, so me, Debbie, Murong, Mirabel, Yirong and Yuru went for a walk around school. Saw a frog. I tried to keep it from hopping it while other people took pictures. Having a frog on your shoe is actually fun. Or I'm just weird. Yay.

Now: I'm anti Twilight, cos I suddenly realised how totally bad the plot is and all the purple prose, self insertation, among others. And the total unscientificness of it all. I want to read manga, but my dad's urging me to go to sleep. I feel like staying up until 12 midnight for the new year...
Ok, bye for now. I'm not going to post immature stuff again. Really.

translators? you can keep 'em.

2009-11-24T12:13:00.002+08:00

translators? you can keep 'em.
this is what happens when "I am a cat looking at a dog" goes through google translator in various different languages:
Spanish And Back: I'm a cat than a dog
the above phrase to greek and back: I am a cat from a dog
to malay, then hindi and back: I am a cat than dog
RANDOM TRANSLATION LANGUAGES: I had a cat like a dog
then, I have a cat like a dog, I have a cat, not dog, I have a cat or dog, I have a female dog, I bitch(HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAGGFCD!!!! strangely it translates to My teef in Afrikaans), My bitch, Is my complaint.(dunno why that got in.) ok, this is stupid. lets try another phrase.
try hello i have cow. to: Cattle are me. Speaking of cows. Ushinsupi.?????
zomg.
lol.
Woosinseuppi.
Ohsinseuppi.
i give up.
translators suck.

do you think i'ma blog slacker?

2009-11-11T11:07:00.002+08:00

i'm blogging, but only because everything else is loading. i guess i really don't like writing. i'm more of the reading kind. o.o i just found out that there's a site called militantplatypus. o.o

it's the holidays? oh? whatever.

2009-11-06T21:30:00.002+08:00

it's the holidays, but i don't feel even remotely excited. i guess it's because i'm too tired. just when i want to socialise, here comes the all-day-stay-at-home imprisonment.
The skin of naked mole rats lacks a key neurotransmitter called substance P that is responsible in mammals for sending pain signals to the central nervous system. When naked mole rats are exposed to acid or capsaicin, they feel no pain. from wikipedia. i didn't know there were aliens on our world.

woo bloody hoo.

2009-10-27T18:27:00.006+08:00

right now i'm opening 4 tabs. almost all to play games. hooray? you bet. now i can't connect to the blogger server. i got 1 A+ 2 As. and 3Bs.

woo bloody hoo.

2009-10-27T18:27:00.001+08:00

right now i'm opening 4 tabs. almost all to play games. hooray? you bet.

random thoughts

2009-10-24T16:58:00.002+08:00

Random thoughts:
1. There are a lot of jokes about why women are better than men, and vice-versa, on the internet. If all of them are true, we're all equally stupid.
2. I'm unique, just like everyone else is.
3. My dad is bugging me.
4. I like crocodiles. But the feeling possibly isn't mutual.
5. I am too bored for my own good. And I don't like bored.com.
6. Bunny suicide!
7. Bunny suicide is kind of sadistic.
8. If you had another brain, it would die of loneliness.

exam's over!!!!

2009-10-21T12:47:00.002+08:00

hooray. the exam's over.

why i love fenzu.

2009-09-06T19:50:00.000+08:00

i love fenzu, cos during that time of mindlessly repeating various notes in a rhythmic manner, your brain just runs on autopilot. it's like letting your brain turn into soup. and then i can stop worrying about homework, grades, and the chores i have to do later. it's relaxing, at least for me. i don't know what else is relaxing. clenching my fist when i'm angry doesn't work. ooh, i found illustrations of DRAGONS!!! I <3 dragons. yay!! i like stumbleupon. yay. wow. all the websites are so interesting. but most of the sites are on photoshop, which i don't have.

i could be using this time for better stuff.

2009-09-04T22:46:00.000+08:00

you know, after hearing how Debbie rants about her life, mine seems easy in comparison. my parents don't expect me to do all the housework. i appreciate doing housework now and then, but if the parents leave it all to the eldest child to do all the housework like they can't help even a BIT, then i'd say that they've got a problem. a big problem. a GIGANTIC, HUMONGOUSLY ENORMOUS problem. i mean, i agree with what Debbie says. you can't pile it on the kid like that, you've got to first teach the skill of it. then you can let her do it sometimes when you've got IMPORTANT things to do. which does not refer to watching the TV. i mean all my bad grades are self inflicted as i waste my time. the other side of the grades curve is too little time for homework. then you get bad grades too. don't blame your child for not getting your genes in math, it's your own fault for your bad reproductive organs. i need to move this chunk of words to internet explorer, cos mozilla firefox is becoming bad lately.

teacher's day..

2009-08-30T20:52:00.000+08:00

sorry hui xin, i'm going to bring my own homemade mask: my mom's old black shirt worn like a balaclava. ok, and i doubt that i have anything to bring for the potluck, and it's too late to go and buy anything. would anyone want cucumbers? somehow, i really doubt it.

i hate mopping the floor.

2009-08-28T22:05:00.002+08:00

i hate mopping the floor. it's tiring. and this time my dad didn't even give me a warning in advance, so i wasn't mentally prepared for it. toady was tiring. during fenzu, the 3 sheng bu split up to play. so, zheng 3 had to go up to the 3rd floor carrying all the stuff: guzheng, stand, file etc. thank goodness i had the strength to carry all of them up at once. i didn't have to go down and up again.. then i mopped and wiped the floor with my knees. -.- i wonder if i have to go to pasir ris for the project tomorrow. nobody's replying me. i'll ask my dad to wake me up real early just in case. rrgh. i'm suffering from a bruise under my eye for some reason. ok, we've a guest. he looks like that guy from 爱也好，恨也好

my life just now

2009-08-21T21:13:00.000+08:00

was scrubbing the floor with a wet cloth just now.that was to rid the floor of wet detergent mopping. e have to do this every week, and it's usually my dad's job but tonight he's out at some dinner, so it's my job.also, my usual job is to vacuum the floor every monday and thursday. we're clean freaks... we never ever need to sweep the floor because there's not enough dust for that. come to think of it, i don't think we ever swept the floor before... o.o but it shows that we're really clean. you could eat your dinner off the floor. but i would advise you not to because it would look stupid. not to mention that i'm not really sure whether it is clean.
on to other things...
today arthur sat on the 7 staple caltraps i made(and he didn't even notice). ok, that was stupid, but i was thinking: my dog, what a thick skinned idiot. the dog thing is another joke. well, he started it first. he wrote on the board: Arthur=GOD, so i drew an two way arrow depicting that the G and the D be switched places. geddit now? most people laughed like crazy when they saw it. i admit it's kind of lame... but i'm only 13. he's 14. he should know better. :D yay i can't believe i'm so young. unfortunately my age in cynicism: probably 75 years... i behave in childish ways a lot of the time. and always after that, i think about how embarrassing it had been, then i make a face like o.o i was so retarded. so apparently i am at the stage now where i don't think about my actions and whatever, then think about it later and regret it. when i was smaller i didn't have to think about whatever it was i'd done(like peeing my pants when i was 8). possibly when i grow up i'll be able to think before doing something. so it'll save me the self humiliation afterward. i have NOT enjoyed my childhood, so i really want to grow up and get rid of my parents. i wish i had a time machine. unfortunately that does not seem to be scheduled to be appearing any time in this century at least, so i can go on wishing and nothing would happen. that brings me to the problem of whether mankind would even survive to the next century, because the newspapers are full of: WATER SHORTAGES! GLOBAL WARMING!! PLAGUE MUTATIONS!!! RUBBISH CONSUMING THE EARTH!!!! i only agree with the last one. because of all the rubbish we're crapping on paper to advertise global warming. when there is a problem, always look where the money lies. we've trained ourselves to react to money like Pavlov's dogs. salivation, hunger, greed, all that you expect to find. back to the point of money: in global warming, there's the money to make from "green" machines, building "clean" resources of energy(solar panels, geothermal energy, nuclear energy, all extremely expensive). i'm not saying that global warming doesn't exist, i'm saying the so called "global warming authoritatives" must have blown the truth up somewhat to make money on it. sorry for wasting your time on such a long, boring post.

what?

2009-08-14T21:59:00.000+08:00

i realise that i have no use for an application like twitter, because i can't articulate myself in 140 characters. but i can't write an essay length reflection either(the only person whom i know who can do that is JY who has been spilling her guts into her journal since primary school(no offense at the spill guts thing?)). i guess it's because i'm easily distracted by the attractions of the internet. while i'm blogging, i go to facebook, download songs and whatnot, so it's no wonder that given the short allowance of my time online, i can't write a decent length post(as in more than 10 lines long). i wonder if i can get a hold of my desires(that are fulfillable). ok, now i realised i made a big mistake in updating firefox, because now i can't convert and download songs. *bangs head on table for being stupid and not thinking* ok, back to the point. here's a list of my shortcomings: dishonest, lazy, greedy(really), no self-control, tendency to giggle/cackle/laugh evilly uncontrollably and have a split personality(crazy/emo, take your pick!). so now you see why i dislike myself(and dislike everyone else). ok, maybe i'm not as bad as i perceive myself to be, but i still think i'm not a good person to be with because i will annoy you. maybe it's inherited from my father(who knows?).

tirrred...

2009-08-11T20:40:00.003+08:00

i don't understand why my parents can watch tv for such a long time everyday and i can't even watch 5 minutes. ok, sure, thy're working adults and can enjoy privileges after, i'm sure, studying REALLY hard in their student years.

stupid volume control, etc.

2009-08-10T16:27:00.003+08:00

just now i opened the volume control and moved my mouse a little. unfortunately, dozens of volume control panels opened and my dad had to open the task manager to close all of them. this computer is getting more and more lag everyday, i swear. my dad thinks that a blog is for you to write essays, but unfortunately for him it's a tool for you to write about everyday things, like an online journal.
he wants me to write about what i feel about national day.
ok, whatever.
there was the pledge thing at 8:22 p.m. i don't think us students recognise the pledge as a pledge anymore. that's because after years and years of repeating it every school day, we just don't think about it anymore. from wikitionary:
pledge
A solemn promise to do something.
the words of the pledge are:

We, the citizens of Singapore
pledge ourselves as one united people,
regardless of race, language or religion,
to build a democratic society,
based on justice and equality,
so as to achieve happiness, prosperity and
progress for our nation.

so i'll explain what the pledge wants us to do. whoever we are, we need to build a democratic society here in Singapore, so Singapore can earn money and be a happy place. i doubt that many people have actually thought about what the pledge is, and not *oh look, they want us to say it so we'll just say it and forget about it*.
i think the national day parade was weird. why the pole dancers? ok, so it's to show that we support sports. but why couldn't they choose something at least slightly stereotypical of sports? pole dancing originated in strip clubs, for goodness sake. maybe the organizer is a lech. or maybe the organizer gave the public(men) a poll:

handball(ol' geezers sit around tossing a ball at something)
football
basketball
STRIP TEASIN' POLE DANCE!

it's obvious. but this is highly unlikely, so i still don't know why they chose it. to prevent people from flaming me, i'll just say in advance: sorry, mr. organizer and the pole dance people. also, the dancers who had red balls*snigger* sewn onto their dresses: ZOMG TUMOUROUS GROWTHS. but the rest were ok. every year i see the parade, i feel for those poor soldiers/girl guides/scouts/NPCC people/NCC people/can't remember the rest for having to stand for so long. and having to march 3.2 km.

do i really need a title?

2009-08-06T20:36:00.001+08:00

sometimes i think i have split personality disorder. i'm platypus in the morning and hanzhang at night. so now let me tell you about these two. platypus hates her parents for making her like this and knows her parents don't love her, it's just because they have a duty to take care of her until she reaches 18 and does not feel guilty. at all. in any way whatsoever. hanzhang feels guilty for all the lies platypus has told but don't really like her parents anyway.

while i was jogging...

2009-07-25T21:36:00.002+08:00

the first round: i saw a cat leap over two knee high walls in succession...
2nd round: i forgot...
3rd round: i saw a woman walking as if she had a really sharp stick up her bum.
i don't like jogging(obviously) but i like to see weird and not so wonderful things when jogging is underway. but what i really, really, hate is dog owners letting their dogs pee AND poop EVERYWHERE. it makes jogging REALLY unpleasant, it does. YOU, my dear dog owner, wouldn't like to step in PEE and POOP too, right? unless, you are unbalanced, disturbed, mental, crazy, mad, insane, etc.
i love facebook!!
anyway, i digress. ahem.

emo.

2009-07-24T21:47:00.002+08:00

but before i get to the emo part, i have to say this: stupid ******* scan. it's making the computer lag like hell.
i noticed that recently my posts were somewhat emo and i wondered why. but i still don't know right now. but i'm guessing that it's because i'm tired. i don't know why i'm tired(really). i once stayed up until 12am to do homework and i woke up the next day at 6 am but i wasn't tired. maybe it was because i was too angry at having to stay up so late, then i forgot that i was supposed to be tired. my mind is just one big hole. back to the point... maybe my tiredness is according to my mindset. if i'm emo and lethargic, then i'll be tired. so it's a vicious cycle, because if i get depressed, then i'll get tired, which would make me more depressed, and would make me more tired, and so on and so forth. so i shouldn't get depressed in the first place. but i don't knokw what makes me depressed, so now i'm getting depressed over this. ok, this is a really roundabout and dumb post, so if you've read it all through, you're dumb.

facebook

2009-07-17T22:17:00.003+08:00

hmmm... seems that i rediscovered facebook. i think i joined up last year, but i totally forgot about it. because i didn't know which of my friends were using facebook at that time and also, the more important point was, i don't think i HAD any friends at that time. i'm a GBL. GBL: Great Big Loser. Loser: A person who fails to win. hmmm. that describes me perfectly. i'm a great big loser, mm hmm, oh yeah.
but the @hole thing was, the first suggestions on who to add as my friend was guess who? guess.

random stuff. again.

2009-07-12T15:51:00.002+08:00

just now i cycled to Labrador nature reserve with my dad. then on the way home, there were a bunch of people who looked like sec 4s who were saying:EEEEEE at something. i only realised that they were talking about a girl in their level when i heard snatches of:"teeth like Dracula" and "height like a man" and one of the guys were saying:"to even imagine holding hands with her is like EEEEEE!" i felt furious because, well, what did she ever do to them? and those people were lowering themselves to the level of primary school students. a disgrace to teenagers and the whole universe.

listening to my outpourings

2009-07-11T21:49:00.002+08:00

i sometimes think that i have multiple personality disorder. sometimes i can behave like a 9 year old kid, then i look back on it and feel ashamed at myself. sometimes i feel bad for putting my parents through so much trouble but the next minute i just don't care anymore. my brain is chaotic. anyone who tries to read my mind would get a migraine and would need extra-strong panadol. i always think about what i am thinking. for example, i would be thinking: that is wrong. and the second layer of thought would be thinking: "that is wrong," i thought. the third layer would think: how do you know that's wrong? how do you know if ANYTHING is correct? and the forth layer would be narrating that, and so on... sometimes i feel annoyed at myself for liking *some text missing*

*service has resumed* then i would want to beat my brains out against the wall because i know i like him but i can't do anything about it.